Memo to al-Zawahiri: Fuck. You.

Surely the world’s largest terrorist organization has bigger things to worry about than the knighthood of Salman Rushdie. According to No. 2’s latest podcast, however, that’s clearly not the case. For Sir Salman, the solution is easy — challenge them all to a joust!

Poor guy. First his hot wife bolts, and now the goddamn jihadists are after him again.