UL-Monroe 21, Alabama 14

Another astonishing first-year embarrassment for The Douche. Back in 2000, I witnessed first hand the depantsing of LSU by the University of Alabama-Birmingham in Tiger Stadium. I remember disgusted fans calling into the postgame radio show immediately afterward and not-so-politely suggesting that Saban was hardly qualified to coach at the high school level. One week later, the Tigers knocked off a Tennessee team that was supposed to commit murder and not leave behind a corpse. So don’t count the little guy out, ‘Bama fans. But still…HA!

Soon to be joining the pantheon of former LSU coaches is Les Miles, who has an interesting seven weeks ahead of him now that Lloyd Carr has retired. I keep hearing these murmurs about Carr not wanting to be succeeded by Miles. Does a guy who’s lost six of his last seven against Ohio State even have a say in the matter? And while I’m on the subject, is it really more important to fans of Big Blue to have a winning record against the Buckeyes than to win national titles? Yes? Oh, okay then.

Peter Finney suggests two high-profile SEC candidates for the LSU job. One has gone undefeated and likely would have won a national championship with his 2004 team in any other year. The other evidently will be fired even if he knocks the Tigers out of contention for the BCS title on Friday. My view is that Skip Bertman should sit down with Bo Pelini and figure out what can be done to keep him in Baton Rouge for the long haul - but only if we can’t outbid Texas A&M for Tommy Tuberville. Don’t worry about the bad blood between Tuberville and Tiger Nation – you can be sure that there will be much kissing and making up if he takes the job. He isn’t even the most hated coach in our division anymore.

In NFL news, the Saints suck again and the Patriots are an alien team from the planet Xandor. They’d probably hang 56 on the ’72 Dolphins if that were possible. I guess it is, technically, though I wonder what amount of money it would take to get Nick Buoniconti and co. to suit up and chase Tom Brady and Randy Moss around for a few hours.

Not dead yet

Looks like the stroke I had over that horrendous start was premature. Mercifully, the line play has improved. You can see it in the way Brees has caught fire and in the fact that Bush has managed 4.6 yards per carry in the four victories. And the resurgence of Marques Colston was long overdue. The remaining schedule looks a lot more manageable with Chicago and Philadelphia looking like disappointments, but you have to be wary of teams like 0-8 St. Louis, who will no doubt sneak up on someone, at some point.

As far as winning the division goes, Tampa Bay plays absolutely no one other than our boys, Dec. 2. I can’t see Carolina making the playoffs with the three-headed quarterbacking monster of Vinny, Carr and that Matt Moore dude. And I threw Atlanta out of the running a long, long time ago.

In other news, the Patriots will lose when you least expect it. Or at the Giants. Or maybe not for another year.

Same old you-know-whos

The Saints are a bad football team right now. They’re getting mauled in the trenches, which is why they can’t run or pass or defend against the run or the pass. And now they’re without a feature running back — possibly a bigger blow than Atlanta losing Michael Vick. Without a workhorse rusher in the backfield, it will be damn near impossible to regain the spark that fueled last year’s offensive fireworks. Kornheiser and Jaworski were correct on MNF — Reggie Bush has proved to be nothing more than an occasional playmaker who lacks the ability to produce consistently. Fortunately, he’s still very young and has an entire career ahead of him to figure out what kind of player he wants to be. Time, however, isn’t on the side of poor Deuce McAllister, who will be 29 next season and has now torn both ACLs.

Perhaps if the line play improves, things could pick up a little, but it’s looking more and more like this team is doomed for ’07. A return to 3-13 looks like a very real possibility, although we long-suffering fans are hoping for the best.

I’m telling you, these guys made a deal with the Devil (or Paul Tagliabue at the very least) last year, and now they’re paying for it.

It's over

Not the season. There's still a helluva lot of football to be played in 2007. I'm referring to the hype. The bandwagon is now empty. It's time to get serious and "Earn It," as they say in the commercials and on those new T-shirts.

The Saints will have to win about four or five in a row to get the buzz going again. I'm sorry, but serious Super Bowl contenders don't get beaten 41-10*, even to the Colts. Anyone thinking perhaps there was a reason Indy let Jason David walk?

I'm just glad this is Week 1 and not 10 or 12.


* Alright, I know the Super Bowl-winning Patriots of 2003 got beaten 31-0 by the lowly Bills in Week 1. But that's the Patriots, who have a talent for defying reason.